It's my Birthday! After a long day in my classroom, I've spent my evening enjoying a yummy dinner with my family around me. I've been spoiled and hugged many times so I count this as a Perfect day.
I've not rambled on about myself lately so I thought I would treat you all to a look inside my head. I just hope you are able to follow this bit of rambling.
This past year has been a challenge for me in many ways. I find myself facing some personal obstacles that I've had to wrap my head around. There's the Ex husband, my father's cancer and an unsettling work atmosphere. All of this combined has left me feeling very emotional and just unsettled for the past six months.
Earlier this week, I had a Duh! moment. Two of these factors are out of my control but I am allowing them to control me. How does that make sense? Therefore, I looked up and said "Ok, I'm letting it go." and that was that. As for work, I'm hoping to transfer into a better work environment. I believe I have a good shot at getting the transfer so overall, things are looking up.
Being a Buddhist, I have to think. I have to have the Me time that will allow me to think about all aspects of major concerns objectively. How do they affect me? How does my subsequent reaction affect me as well as others? Where is the path of peace through it all? One of the things that has really hit home for me lately is that even though I strive for peace, it in no way means that I have to allow others to treat me unfairly. It is within my power to make changes without being passive or being a Drama Queen. Rather than taking a step forward or back, I'm choosing to step to the side out of the mess. I'm going to let those people find their own way. I'm going to go on with my life.
I noticed this morning as I walked through the quiet halls before the school day started, I found that my step was lighter and that I didn't feel pulled down. I felt like ME again! I finished my day with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. For months, I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to find Me again. Fortunately, I was wrong. :)
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